Jesus is closer to me than anyone on this earth could be and I want to tell you why.
I'll begin by saying, He has completely destroyed my life and made me completely unfit for this world, and my life until now, while I have had the most amazing visions, revelations and supernatural encounters, has been one of trials, tribulations, sorrows, loss and betrayal.
In my first marriage, I was young and it wasn't truly love. My first wife kept telling me she didn't know what love was and I tried to do all I could to show her love. However, three years into our marriage, she committed adultery and being a young Christian, I did what I thought was right and forgave her, even though she never really said she was sorry.
I spent the next nine years married to her, until one day I was sitting on a small hill overlooking our farm and a thought came to mind, "I have a slice of heaven, but the wrong woman." I asked God, "is this true?"
He told me to look into my heart and what I found was a lump, like a stone and it was a stone of sorrow. God told me this was there because of my wife's adultery and because she hadn't repented of it. Then He said to me, "whatever you get yourself into, you have to get yourself out of and whatever I get you into I will get you out of."
I said, "is there ever a time you will help me out of something I get myself into?" He replied, "if you realize where you went wrong and repent of it, I will grant you mercy and help you out."
I knew I had to leave my first wife, as difficult as it was because of my children. She was a bitter woman and turned them against me and I didn't see them for many years and unfortunately one of them is still quite bitter toward me, while the other I see very little.
Then I met my second wife and God did a few things and I felt true love for her. We have two children and for the first ten years we were truly in love, though we went through some difficult times.
Then, about five years ago, she started associating with unbelievers and falling back into her old habits of drinking and smoking, etc. and though I continually warned her, she wouldn't listen and I watched as she drew further away from me and God. Until now, she has also committed adultery and we are apart and sadly God has told me, she is destined for hell.
Jesus has been with me since I was a little child. My earliest memory is of a vision of Him when I was three years old and He has been with me through it all, teaching me and showing me all the whys and wherefores of it all and not once has He ever lied to me or deceived me.
Almost 25 years ago, I experienced the presence of God, in absolute power and glory and I have described that experience in other articles, etc. But His absolute love poured through me with such unrelenting, unreserved and unadulterated power, that it fountained through every pore of my body.
The conclusion I have come to, is that there is only one, true love for everyone and that is the absolute, true love of God. My wife's true love died, as she grew further and further away from God and I have learned the hard way, that God IS love and without God, there is no true love.
When His presence of absolute love came upon me, my character was transformed, by the characteristics of His absolute love, which is absolute virtuousness and I have also learned, that without true love, there is no virtue and this is exemplified through my wife, who turned from God and as love began to die, so she became less and less virtuous.
So now I know, there can be no virtue without true love and no true love without God and if you think you'll find it without God, then you'll find out the hard way, it's not true love without Him, because He IS the supernatural, omniscient, omnipresent nature and characteristics of absolute undying love.
As for now, I have nothing left in this world. He told me that in order to walk in His presence, His absolute love 24/7, my world had to come to an end. It had to crumble and fall and come to nothing, and now it has.
So now all I have left is my relationship with God, King (Jesus) and Country (heaven) and nothing of this world to keep me from them.
I warn you though. I wouldn't be so eager to experience His presence, for once you have, your world will be destroyed and you will wind up with nothing. You will be set apart from everyone and rejected by the church and the world and go through the mill and the winepress, and when your time comes to serve in the way He is having me serve now, you will spend all your time banging on doors that won't open due to pride and being turned away by people who know all the words, but have no TRUE LOVE.
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging symbol.1 Corinthians 13:1
Have I given up on love? Never! But I do know that I won't find it with anyone in this world unless they have also overcome the survival instinct and lusts of the flesh and experienced God's absolute love and virtuousness that cleanses you of all pride and sin, worldly thoughts, hopes, dreams and desires.
Which is what He has prepared me for, to be His instrument, a blood vessel of His absolute love and virtuousness in absolute power and glory, to impart to others, that they may also become His blood vessel of absolute, true love.